Say Something
In a world buzzing with ideas and information, why be another voice? Wouldn’t it be better to just say nothing and listen to the classics instead, improving our minds and giving us better conversation for real life? No. I think there’s a time and a place. As we grow, we know.
Social media brought with it an equality of opportunity to express ourselves and be seen. But how much is too much? I remember a friend telling another friend to stop wearing her heart on her sleeve, on Facebook. Could be good advice, although vulnerability can also be a worthwhile and honest approach. How do we find the balance?
Even well meaning posts can be too much. Me and another friend are each going to give our FB passwords to someone we trust so that when our time comes, no-one can post condolences, statements and outpourings on our walls. No one can come to our funerals unless invited by our loved ones. Send our families a card by all means, but leave us out of social media. Although once you're gone I guess it doesn’t matter. My father-in-law used to say focus on the living.
Having said all that… because i’m thinking out loud here… this article is called Say Something. So what am I getting at? Perhaps I mean say something meaningful when the time is right. Listen and read before we speak.
Yesterday I spent the morning stacking logs, whilst listening to Middlemarch - currently free on Audible (at time of writing). This is one of my favourite tasks of the year. I can still remember my last stacking read - The Sealwoman’s Gift. I’m in my element listening and arranging my log pile after a delivery! Listening is important and I think I for one am guilty of speaking more than listening.
I have found it hard to let go of people or speak my mind throughout my life. At Cheltenham Literature Festival I attended a talk called Just F**cking Say It and it was actually marvellous. Now that’s a book for my Audible wish list.
So my conclusion, and note to self, is do say it, but listen, read, contemplate first.
As this is written without AI and a phone as I have my Saturday lie-in, it’s an outpouring of my thoughts with no particular direction or structure. I prefer to get my thoughts laid out on here than forget them. If they resonate with you then do leave a comment.
With love
S
I go back and forth with it, should I say more, less, nothing?
I think I come back to the same conclusion as you. To think things through more thoroughly. Give a little time and space.
Problem is, I don’t always practise this - things move so quickly in this digital age and often by the time I have managed to absorb and fully articulate myself, the ‘moment’ has passed. What I wants to say no longer feels relevant. And I think that’s what’s happening to many people, actually. They feel rushed to make a judgement, conclude something before the ‘window’ shuts.
I am sorry you had that experience with your (ex?) friend.
As Julie says, I try to listen more than I speak but I find it so hard to actually do. I often feel like Hagrid, shaking my head muttering ‘oh I should not have said that, no I should NOT have said that!’. I jump in and blurt out because something has ignited inside. I think the immediacy of social media has augmented this unfortunately 🙄 but every day I am trying to ‘jump in’ a little less.
Good idea about the Facebook hereafter plan, I don’t have an account there but I would do that too. Sorry for your loss xx